Fun Should Remain Fun

Now that I have pondered upon it a little more, I’ve discovered yet another nugget [[[morsel]]] reason that I prefer to study science.  That there is another reason I do not want to *study* the creative pursuits, and most certainly why I do not want to enter any of them as a profession.

I like Biochem enough that I would be engaged and interested while at work.  But it is not my sole source of enjoyment in life.  It is intriguing, fascinating, sure.  It provides endless source [[[fount]]] of wonder, it satiates my curiosity, it feeds my drive to discover and learn, all that good stuff.  I study it so that I may unlock the secrets of the universe.  Arcane, long-hidden enigmae.

But it is not what I pour myself in, to relax in my spare time.  I do not grab a cup of tea, curl up on the couch, and read over my Biochem lab notes.  Wait, actually I do, but that is an essay for another day.

So I most definitely do enjoy Biochem as an academic subject, As a research topic of interest.  But here is the thing.  I am not so emotionally invested in it that I would ever be concerned that I would grow to resent it for mutating my fun, escapist hobby -> into a professional obligation.  I wish to keep it as a way to just relax, daydream, let my imagination run away wild with me, all that good stuff.

I would not grow to dread studying it for making me feel obligated for feeling dutiful, like I made a commitment and now, grumble grumble, I made a pact/contract/etc. and I have to stick to it.  Like I have a responsibility, like I made a commitment, like I will disappoint people if I don’t follow through.

I would not think to myself, “Oh woe is me, oh wherefore didst I ever studyeth Biochemistry?  Gentle vial, relieve me of my misery.”  None of that crap.  I readily accept Biochem as the type of subject that is sometimes boring yet mandatory.  Remember how when we were little, adults would tell us, “don’t expect to be enthralled in life at all times”?  Biochem is sometimes one of these non-enthralling things.

Whereas for me art exists purely for entertainment purposes.  Art is there to help me relax and unwind at the end of a long day at work and school.

I do not want to embroil myself in schedules, deadlines, meetings, or any some such nose-to-the-grindstone stuff.  Not when it comes to writing or painting.  I draw the line there.  I do not want to engage myself in Work mode within facets of my life that are meant for relaxation.  The purpose I engage in art and writing at all is that it is a creative outlet.  It is a way to blow off steam, to air my grievances and frustrations.  The way I see it, those are fun distractions, abstract interests, anyway.

It is not something that I see as any sort of drive to have focus, like something that I would approach with ambition.  As in, I would not gather a list of references.  I would not compile a meticulously detailed roster of skill sets, training, education that I use in resume cover letters into a written resume.  I would not have a painstaking dossier of accomplishments that I would skillfully craft into curriculum vitae.

__For the express purpose of NOTTT working.__

"Patronization" Towards Middle-Class White Women As Opposed To Asian Women In Science

Let us talk about patronization and insulting behavior directed towards women.  This is regarding how some women complain that men do not take them seriously in the professional fields of math and/or science.  Nor when these topics arise in everyday conversation.

The thing is, I have never had this problem.  Nobody has ever acted like, “awws how cute, that girl wants to study science.”  Nobody has ever patted me on the head and said, “oh how adorable.”

I honestly have never had to deal with that.  People look at me and automatically assume I am smart.  This has been a recurring, trusty old constant throughout my life.  No matter whether we are talking about teachers/profs or work supervisors.  Or friends and acquaintances.  It is very nice, and very accurate, of them.

All my math, physic, chemistry, and biology teachers in high school expected me to do great things.  They were proud of me when I got A’s on tests, but more importantly they expected that from me.  As a matter of fact, they were disappointed with me if I did not get excellent grades.  This is terrible-- one time in Honors Physics I got a C on a test.  Aghhh, not characteristic for me at all.  My honors physics teacher in high school, a white man, took me aside and asked me, "What in the world happened?  I was just bragging to your Dad about how you are one of my best students."  I made sure I got an A in that class.

My chemistry, biology, and advanced math teachers in high school were mostly women.  All throughout grade school, most of my math teachers were women, with a few men math teachers.  The vast majority of them were excellent teachers.  Nobody looked at those female math teachers and doubted their abilities.

In college -- chemistry, calc-based physics, calculus professors have never acted like they expected anything less from me as a woman student than they would from my white male counterparts (other students in those same classes).  College-- yes that would include white male professors.  You know, the demographic that the media keeps telling us are evil, and are the cause of all the world’s pains and suffering?

Same mutual respect and courtesy between the white male students in my classes, and myself.  None of them have questioned my knowledge [[[grasp, comprehension]]] of the subject matter.  Heck, during a lot of the lab assignments, they look to me for guidance!  They ask me to clarify a step in instruction, or they sometimes ask me to explain a lecture concept.

Perhaps I just give off a demeanor that is incredible nerdy.  Shrug.  Fine with me.

((Same with my own father, and mother also.))))
Same with the men as well as the women in the Bengali-American community that my family habituate.  As a matter of custom and respect, all the kids (my generation) address them as aunties and uncles.  All the uncles would ask me what my proposed college major would be, what college I planned on attending, what job I would seek after graduating.  The aunties, as well.  Not a single one of them was taken aback when I answered that my planned major was microbiology, a hard science subject.  Once I told them my major is Microbiology, they nodded knowingly and acceptingly.  They well understood that this is a realistic stepping stone on my path to medical school.

Now that I am in college, they hold conversations with me about my progress, what all prerequisite math courses I have completed thus far, all that good stuff.  They also are curious as to what entails an undergraduate degree in Micro, presumably because none of them were Micro.  Many of them also encouraged their own daughters to purse math and science degrees.

Which all makes me wonder.  These girls I read about out in the media, complaining that men in science do not take them seriously -- are they projecting a vibe of being air-headed?