For some reason, a lot of women never come right out and say what they mean. Or what they are thinking. They tend to not say what is on her mind.
I notice that in a lot of relationship problems, women are mad when somebody is not a mind reader.
Why are you waiting for the guy to ask you how your day was? It is as if you are waiting on him to give you permission to speak. Here's an idea. If you are so eager to talk about it, then why not just start talking about how your day was?
I also see that a lot of women are angry at their boyfriend person for some reason or other. But she never ++<tells him what she is mad about. She expects him to guess. I see this in all the relationship advice articles and women’s magazines and crap.
He commits some indiscretion or grievance and he makes her mad. Okay, fair enough. But she does not address it. She does not tell him she is mad. Or if she +does+ inform him in some shape or form of the fact that she is mad, she does not say what she is mad about. She thinks it is so obvious what he has done that he should be able to easily guess.
She lets it fester and simmer, and then she goes wailing and crying to her girlfriends 'ohhh he just doesn’t understand me!!'' This is possibly another reason I do not have that many girl friends. they get mad
((((giving him the cold chouslder)) that just seems to grow into bitterness and resentment,
hey, I just realized something else within the course of typing this. if he could guess what made her mad, then guess what else. he probably would not have done it in the first place.
Well, how is he supposed to know? If he asks the woman are you okay? She says yes. If he asks the woman is anything wrong, she says no. And then she gets all mad and huffy and puffy because he was not able to detect her MRI brain waves or something.
I saw some TV show where the wife was mad at the husband. And she refused, abso-tootle-lutely refused to tell him what she was mad about. She would not even give him a hint. Leaving the poor guy helpless and flopping in the wind. The guy was begging her to tell him what made her mad. She just made him guess throughout the whole entire show. And I must say, a lot of his guesses were surprisingly good. His guesses were about their interpersonal dynamic, the state of their marriage, how there was a misunderstanding that he should have known would offend her. But none of them, I mean NONE of them, were the correct answer. I felt sorry for the guy. Finally at the end of the half-hour TV show, the guy guessed the correct answer the girl was looking for. It was such an abstract, vague, convoluted, wishy-washy piece of crap she was looking for, it was no wonder it took the guy the whole entire show to guess it. It was not anything logical, intelligent, or evidence-based. I felt sorry for the poor guy. This pretty much reflected what all women’s magazines and personal advice columns and psychology magazines say -- except they usually blame the male participant.
they are mad if their sxx partner (er significant other))) does not get them exactly what they wanted for their birthday, or for Christmas, or valentine's day, etc.
But wait a second. Did you straightforwardly TELLL him that’s what you wanted for your present? No. You probably just dropped subtle hints.
‘‘Well no but i pointed it out and the store and told him I liked it. It was pretty obvious,''' they say.
Big deal. I like the beluga whale at the zoo, doesn’t mean I want it for my birthday.
If you and your date person went to the mall on a window-shopping spree, there were probably a million different things that you pointed at and said, "oooh I like that." How the hell is he supposed to know which one specific thing you ""really really'' wanted for your birthday? Plus that mall conversation probably happened two months ago. It is not realistic to expect someone to remember that.
I admit, I personally am not a great gift giver. I can never tell what someone really wants for their birthday.
I realize that I also cannot read minds. This is not because I think like a man. This is because I am not a goddamn psychic. Luckily, a lot of kids I knew growing up probably agreed with me. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, a lot of girls I knew all through elementary school, middle school, high school, and still beyond -- we just came right out and asked each other what we want for our birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
E.g., I would prefer a friend to ask me, "what do you want for your birthday?" Some people hear this and they are offended, "ohhh that shows they don’t know you that well as a friend, they don't know your preferences that well."
Hogwash. I disagree completely. I like it when they just come out and ask me what I want for my birthday. They DO know me very well, because they are being straightforward and honest with me. I prefer this because it shows that they respect me enough to know that I will be honest with them. I just like people to be straight-shooters. Rather than guessing and being in the dark and wondering "oh I’m so nervous oh gosh I hope this is something she will like."
They know that I won’t be offended that they are not great at reading my mind. Rather than trying to guess what I want, they just come right out and ask me. I greatly appreciate their straightforwardness and honesty. If they have a hard time guessing what I want, that is perfectly fine. Just ask. I am not the least bit offended. I actually like it, because then I actually receive something I want, and they don't have to go to all that trouble and effort and still risk getting me something I'm not crazy about.
I am an incredibly picky perfectionist, so chances are they won't get it right anyway. I guess I am what one calls "impossible to shop for." I have to be absolutely crazy about an item to want to call it my own. Please do not try to guess; you will inevitably disappoint me. Anyone reading this, do me a favor and please don’t try to tell me, "don’t you want to be surprised?" Answer: No. I don't like the idea of being surprised and disappointed with a fork-and-burlap hairbow.
--Likewise, I most definitely extend the same courtesy and respect towards them. I just ask point-blank, what do you want for your birthday? Or for Christmas? It is a good life.
I notice that in a lot of relationship problems, women are mad when somebody is not a mind reader.
Why are you waiting for the guy to ask you how your day was? It is as if you are waiting on him to give you permission to speak. Here's an idea. If you are so eager to talk about it, then why not just start talking about how your day was?
I also see that a lot of women are angry at their boyfriend person for some reason or other. But she never ++<tells him what she is mad about. She expects him to guess. I see this in all the relationship advice articles and women’s magazines and crap.
He commits some indiscretion or grievance and he makes her mad. Okay, fair enough. But she does not address it. She does not tell him she is mad. Or if she +does+ inform him in some shape or form of the fact that she is mad, she does not say what she is mad about. She thinks it is so obvious what he has done that he should be able to easily guess.
She lets it fester and simmer, and then she goes wailing and crying to her girlfriends 'ohhh he just doesn’t understand me!!'' This is possibly another reason I do not have that many girl friends. they get mad
((((giving him the cold chouslder)) that just seems to grow into bitterness and resentment,
hey, I just realized something else within the course of typing this. if he could guess what made her mad, then guess what else. he probably would not have done it in the first place.
Well, how is he supposed to know? If he asks the woman are you okay? She says yes. If he asks the woman is anything wrong, she says no. And then she gets all mad and huffy and puffy because he was not able to detect her MRI brain waves or something.
I saw some TV show where the wife was mad at the husband. And she refused, abso-tootle-lutely refused to tell him what she was mad about. She would not even give him a hint. Leaving the poor guy helpless and flopping in the wind. The guy was begging her to tell him what made her mad. She just made him guess throughout the whole entire show. And I must say, a lot of his guesses were surprisingly good. His guesses were about their interpersonal dynamic, the state of their marriage, how there was a misunderstanding that he should have known would offend her. But none of them, I mean NONE of them, were the correct answer. I felt sorry for the guy. Finally at the end of the half-hour TV show, the guy guessed the correct answer the girl was looking for. It was such an abstract, vague, convoluted, wishy-washy piece of crap she was looking for, it was no wonder it took the guy the whole entire show to guess it. It was not anything logical, intelligent, or evidence-based. I felt sorry for the poor guy. This pretty much reflected what all women’s magazines and personal advice columns and psychology magazines say -- except they usually blame the male participant.
they are mad if their sxx partner (er significant other))) does not get them exactly what they wanted for their birthday, or for Christmas, or valentine's day, etc.
But wait a second. Did you straightforwardly TELLL him that’s what you wanted for your present? No. You probably just dropped subtle hints.
‘‘Well no but i pointed it out and the store and told him I liked it. It was pretty obvious,''' they say.
Big deal. I like the beluga whale at the zoo, doesn’t mean I want it for my birthday.
If you and your date person went to the mall on a window-shopping spree, there were probably a million different things that you pointed at and said, "oooh I like that." How the hell is he supposed to know which one specific thing you ""really really'' wanted for your birthday? Plus that mall conversation probably happened two months ago. It is not realistic to expect someone to remember that.
I admit, I personally am not a great gift giver. I can never tell what someone really wants for their birthday.
I realize that I also cannot read minds. This is not because I think like a man. This is because I am not a goddamn psychic. Luckily, a lot of kids I knew growing up probably agreed with me. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, a lot of girls I knew all through elementary school, middle school, high school, and still beyond -- we just came right out and asked each other what we want for our birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
E.g., I would prefer a friend to ask me, "what do you want for your birthday?" Some people hear this and they are offended, "ohhh that shows they don’t know you that well as a friend, they don't know your preferences that well."
Hogwash. I disagree completely. I like it when they just come out and ask me what I want for my birthday. They DO know me very well, because they are being straightforward and honest with me. I prefer this because it shows that they respect me enough to know that I will be honest with them. I just like people to be straight-shooters. Rather than guessing and being in the dark and wondering "oh I’m so nervous oh gosh I hope this is something she will like."
They know that I won’t be offended that they are not great at reading my mind. Rather than trying to guess what I want, they just come right out and ask me. I greatly appreciate their straightforwardness and honesty. If they have a hard time guessing what I want, that is perfectly fine. Just ask. I am not the least bit offended. I actually like it, because then I actually receive something I want, and they don't have to go to all that trouble and effort and still risk getting me something I'm not crazy about.
I am an incredibly picky perfectionist, so chances are they won't get it right anyway. I guess I am what one calls "impossible to shop for." I have to be absolutely crazy about an item to want to call it my own. Please do not try to guess; you will inevitably disappoint me. Anyone reading this, do me a favor and please don’t try to tell me, "don’t you want to be surprised?" Answer: No. I don't like the idea of being surprised and disappointed with a fork-and-burlap hairbow.
--Likewise, I most definitely extend the same courtesy and respect towards them. I just ask point-blank, what do you want for your birthday? Or for Christmas? It is a good life.
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