Tuesday, April 2, 2002

Why Do Men Hate Themselves?

I have always been far more worried about girls' well-being, I suppose because they still have potential to improve.  Their souls are still mostly intact, might be a few scratches and scars, but that's about it.  Not broken, bloody, abused, beaten.  I secretly harbored a strange notion that girls are on many levels, better than boys.  They are cleaner, they are less corrupt, they are more "pure."

It was such a weird secret that I kept it hidden from myself.  I should not do this.  I usually do practice what I preach.  But I need to enact the finishing touches.

Either one is not an okay manner in which to perceive the world.  That is why I actively work to make myself understand that both are equally responsible for making sure that they do not ruin their lives with promiscuity and carelessness.  They are both equally responsible for bringing a fetus into the world that they have absolutely zero intention of taking care of.  And, I <should> be equally as concerned if a boy falls into this kind of careless laissez-faire behavior as I do if a girl slips into the social cracks.

I realized back in high school that all that nonsense about men calling slutty women "sluts" is not actually quite accurate.  Men did not lob the insult of "slut" that often.  Women in fact were the ones that had the conspicuous conflict with sluts.  I will be honest, I don't really have a problem with that.

On a purely instinctual level, I can understand why women might feel this way.  They are females after all; they do not possess male genitalia, it is physically a foreign object that they might regard with suspicion.  And instinctively women would be suspicious of a woman that is too comfortable with an invading object.  That is the instinctive primitive origin of the fact that women mostly do not approve of sluts.  (Or at least they didn't used to; I don't know what is going on nowadays.)  A higher-plane-of-existence explanation would be that it is simply gross because it completely ignores all medical documentation of STDs and unwanted pregnancies.  Also the whole emotional connection thing is kinda important.

But I do not understand why men would feel this way.  Why would men be disgusted by a female that has genital contact with a bunch of different men?  Why would men be disgusted by a female that touches a lot of penises?  Don't men have penises?  Don't they like penises?  Same oddity with how men regard gay men.  For the record, I am not defending gays one way or the other.  I am making the observation that gay men are seen as being just as sick, nasty, depraved as slutty females.  And by the by, according to a lot of the medical literature, gay men are extremely promiscuous.

I was standing here puzzled, scratching my head, when a weird thought occurred to me.  The only explanation that can be interpolated from all that is the following:  It seems that men hate themselves.  That seems to be the only logical conclusion that fits the aforementioned weird facts.

And as if that weren’t bad enough, why has popular society and general culture decided that now it is okay for girls to be emotionally damaged and broken, and to re-wrap it up, package it, and sell it as the new girl power?

It’s true, this particular quote from Paula Poundstone -- comical reference, I know, but appropriate.  "I hate women.  Instead of reaching our potential, we are tied to the thought that we want to do what men do.  That’s why cigarette and tobacco companies target us."

Wait -- I just remembered something.  We DID call men on their bullshyte before.  We addressed the fact that they are pigs and dogs and players and aholes.  But now, somehow that has disappeared from anyone's conscious memory.  A lot of girls feel the need to "empower" themselves by turning just as whory as boys have heretofore gotten a bad rap for being.

So what the hell happened?  Is it the dreaded, "if you can't beat em, join em" mentality?  Are we going to get some sh-t psychobabble pseudo-philosophy about the changing times and the new generation and changing societal mores?  Have boys started to wear those insults without my knowledge nor permission -- players, dogs, etc. -- as emblems of pride?  Are girls seeing this and deciding that they too want to take on those degrading adjectives as badges of honor?

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