Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Blustering Bravado CEOs

The vast majority of women's magazines are a severe insult to my intelligence.  Not to mention an insult to my morals.  (Sigh of boredom and wanting to move on.)  I am well aware that it is not cool to mention morals.  But no one has ever accused me of being "cool."  Nope.  I wear the badges of Nerd and Geek with immense pride.

For all their blustering bravado that they are "career women" [[[[whow done't have time]]]]] and therefore we should regard them with awe......

...Their careers are surprisingly... dull.

When I was at the mediocre private women's college, all those girls did the exact same core thing.  They all majored in silly fluff majors akin to those featured in checkout-aisle magazines.  They went to college as a distraction until they got their M.R.S.  They were probably relieved if and when they managed to find a guy to which they could attach themselves, like leeches.

Or like sea lampreys.  You know, those scary looking worm-fish that superficially resemble eel except they have rows and rows of endless teeth.  It is mesmerizing to see one.  Their teeth are circular formations (more accurately than rows) that spiral in concentric rings.

You know what else this reminds me of?  I remember watching a wonderful, fascinating educational video called Donald Duck in Math-Magic Land.  (A much happier memory than the sea lampreys.)  There was at one point a demonstration of a perfectly formed geometric illustration.  It was a series of shapes that nested into each other, a triangle that had inside it another triangle; and that it turn had inside it another triangle; and when you zoomed in closer, this one in turn had inside it another triangle.  A hierarchy of shapes.  It was an infinite amount of detail that could venture into the sub-subatomic level of organization.  (Also too kind of like Russian stacking dolls.)  It is dizzying to behold a set of sea lamprey's chompers.  Anyway, I digress.

But at least they were more or less honest about it.  They never put up a pretense of being strong capable women in charge of their own life.  They were wimps, they were spoiled pampered princesses.  They were whiny, racist, pain-in-the-ass, middle class white kids.  They went to college as a distraction until they got married or found a boyfriend or something (Doogie Howser paraphrased).  And they never pretended any different.

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