Monday, March 24, 2014

Review of "Frozen," aka The final nail in the coffin of the failed social experiment that is feminism

Apparently there is a new computer-rendered animated movie out called "Frozen."

I don't watch much TV on a TV set so I suppose I have not been assaulted with the same amount of drowning propaganda to which others have been subjected.  Also I don't hang out in the children's underwear department much, so this movie somehow escaped my attention until now.

This is a story about a girl with really awesome superpowers and enormous responsibility expected of a queen, and her boring, typical middle-class white female sister.

Hunh.  So it employs the same digital animation style as that used by Pixar.  Well, Disney has been collaborating with Pixar for so long, it stands to reason that they would learn a thing or two about animation in the new millennium.

The move honestly was very enjoyable, very entertaining.  The musical number "Let It Go" lived up to every bit of the hype it has apparently been getting.  I read up on youtube comments so I know this was a popular hit with fans.

The two main characters were mostly a pain in the ass.

It is the classic story of some very comfortable, privileged, upper-middle-class white girls who are convinced that the patriarchy is somehow holding them down.  They are oppressed even though they are born into royalty, have every freedom to do whatever they want and freedom not to do whatever they don't want at their whim.  They have the whole entire kingdom at their beck and call.  But don't forget that they are oppressed.

In all probability, men designed and built the whole entire castle in which they reside.  This includes the plumbing system, the furniture on which they sit their rich asses, and the fine crowns and jewels with which they adorn their privileged heads.  They don't have to do any cooking, cleaning, or laundry whatsoever; those tasks are most likely left to working-class women.  But don't forget that the two princesses are oppressed.

They spend their days waking up at noon, not having to work a day in their goddamn lives.  They spend their days singing and talking about snowmen.  They don't have to worry about trade relations, the economy, any peasants' standard of living.  But don't forget that the two princesses are oppressed.

The younger sister, to whom I guess we are all supposed to relate, is a girl born into privilege and wealth and comfort.  Who has not had to work for anything in her life.  She has no special skills or powers, nothing.  No marketable talents that could get her a respectable, prestigious, well-paying job.  nope, her wealth is entirely due to the fact that her *parents* are comfortable and wealthy.  (*Were* comfortable and wealthy; my bad.)  She did not earn a penny of it herself.  She is not interesting, she is not jaw-droppingly intelligent, she is not phenomenally talented.

She is also a typical female who is naiive and easily duped about romance/men/dating.  She is so desperate for a boyfriend that her gullibility allowed the hot red-headed guy to be a jerk.  Sorry, but everything Hans said to her in that part where he was going to murder her in front of the fireplace, was true.  This is the case in the vast majority of girls that end up with untrustworthy guys.  There was nothing remotely extraordinary or fascinating about the Anna character.  She is just all-around mediocre as hell.

I am also concerned because of the unwitting message this is sending to girls regarding desperation for male approval.  We all know that teenage girls aren't too bright, especially in matters of romance/dating/sex.  I am worried that girls are going to see this and think, "ohh well as long as I don't *marry* someone I just met, I'm not being desperate.  It's okay if we sleep together, or shack up together, or have a baby together, after having just met.  As long as we don’t get married, I'm not being desperate."  That nuance and simile would probably be lost on them.

And asking the poor blonde guy to help her.  Ah, let me rephrase that.  She did not "ask" Christoph to help her.  She ordered him to help her; she didn't really ask him.  She ordered him to, and just expected that he would comply.  Let me rephrase things again.  The word "help" intrinsically means one person is already *doing* the work.  Then they can then get a second person to *help* them.

That is not what happened here.  Anna expected this poor poverty-stricken guy to do all the work for her while she sat back and watched him "help."  Who does she think she is?  ""ohhh welll she's a princess."  Yes, I am aware of that.  She is a spoiled, pampered princess.  That all is what got on my nerves about the movie.

But I loved almost everything about Elsa.  This is because Elsa was the opposite of Anna.

That is, I loved Elsa until I read some critiques of the character, and did a little more thinking.

So... she's a queen with girl power who don't need no man.  She's such a capable and intelligent queen... that she just cursed her whole damn kingdom into frost, ice, dangerous driving conditions, killing crops and livestock, dangerous walking conditions.  And then she ran away like a coward.

She's such a strong capable woman in charge of her own life... that she doesn't know how to control her own powers.  Remember this scene?

What do you mean you "can't"?  You're a flucking grown adult.  Figure it out.

We certainly don't accept this kind of BS excuse from men.  We expect men to have a good handle on any magical powers.  If they are not able to control their own powers, they are evil.  Jafar, Rasputin.  No one accepts the following excuse regarding males, "oh he doesn't know his own strength."  And rightly so.

We do not accept this excuse regarding any male that, say, is restraining a female, has grabbed her arm, and inadvertently leaves a really bad bruise.

Therefore there is no reason to be so accommodating towards women.  That is your responsibility to figure out how your powers work, not anyone else's.

By the way, in the past , we did hold women to the same standards of knowing their own magical strength.  Fairy godmother, the three good fairies.

Maleficent, the wicked queen stepmother, the evil fairy in Shrek 2.

It is the classic story of some very comfortable, privileged, upper-middle-class white girls who are convinced that the patriarchy is somehow holding them down.  They are oppressed.  Even though they are born into royalty, have every freedom to do whatever they want and freedom not to do whatever they don't want at their whim.  They have the whole entire kingdom at their beck and call.  But don't forget that they are oppressed.

Let's be honest.  In all probability, men designed and built the whole entire castle in which they reside including the plumbing system and fuel/heating system.  Men built the furniture on which they sit their rich asses, and the fine crowns and jewels with which they adorn their privileged heads.  They don't have to do any cooking, cleaning, or laundry whatsoever.  Those tasks are most likely left to minority, working-class women.  But don't forget that the two princesses are oppressed.

They spend their days waking up at noon, not having to work a day in their goddamn lives.  They spend their days singing and talking about snowmen.  They don't have to worry about trade relations, the economy, any peasants' standard of living.  But don't forget that the two princesses are oppressed.

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